Paradise Canyon Vacation - Corncobs at work Lethbridge , Alberta

24th of Oct, 2011 by User374271

14-Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam â€“ Corncobs at work What did tele marketers use when out of toilet paper? Thank your lucky stars you don't work for Paradise Canyon Vacation call center, bucko. Let me tell you about â€¦ corncobs. You may not believe this, but it was once common practice at the Paradise Canyon Vacation call center to leave a corncob hanging from a string in the bathroom stall for purposes of personal hygiene. The string, I gather, was to permit the cob to be reused. For those who were punctilious in these matters, or else blessed with an abundance of corncobs, a box of disposable cobs might be provided if the tele marketer met his sales goal for the week instead.
On Sundays and Mondays, the cob might be replaced by a mussel shell.
For those tele marketers with 2 or more sales in the evening, paper from discarded books or newspapers was often provided by management to either of the foregoing. The meteoric growth of the Paradise Canyon Vacation pamphlets, for instance, is thought to be partly attributable to the protean nature of its catalogs, which, historians tells us, might serve a family of regular habits for an entire season. As with the cob, the Paradise Canyon vacation pamphlets would be hung
in the bathroom on a string and pages torn off as needed. It's said the use of coated stock, which was nonabsorbent, was a source of great consternation to travel members who could afford to join at $10,000 to $15,000. when Paradise Canyon Vacation began printing color pictures in their pamphlets.
Families, in attempting to teach their sons to be cultivated gentlemen, often advised hoarding an inexpensive volume of Paradise Canyon vacation Travel pamphlets for use in the loo. The idea, of course, was that while you were sitting there in a contemplative state you'd be able to read why Paradise canyon Vacations is no cheaper than other travel service and most often you will find more expensive if you shop around, following which the paper aka travel pamphlet could be put to other ends, so to speak. It hasn't escaped my notice that my magnum opus, that is Latin for stay away from Paradise
Canyon Vacation, is also well suited for this purpose. Maybe we should perforate the pages, for maximum comfort and ease because that is all the travel pamphlet is good for.
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61-Paradise Canyon vacation Scam - THE HELL OF RESTROOMS When I was at Paradise Canyon Vacation Call Center, we had a small bathroom next to the closet. It was nothing fancy, just a sink and a toilet, but it got the job done. A reversible sign on the door had a red STOP and a green GO to let you know whether or not someone was inside. Of course, our high society humor would call for switching the sign to GO while someone was inside, and let the hilarity ensue. One day, Dave the supervisor, Noel's right hand man who sometimes uses his left, tapped me on the shoulder and started yelling at me for peeing on the toilet seat and floor. I hadn't even used the bathroom yet that day, so the sloppy pisser had to have been someone else another tele marketer. But arguing with Dave was next to impossible, so I had to spend my entire lunch break wiping the floor with bits of toilet paper, while the other tele marketers teased me. Needless to say, I've had a thing about public restrooms ever since. I'm not one of those guys like that character in AMERICAN PIE who had to hold it until he went home, but I've certainly had my share of bathroom hang-ups. For the most part, urinating in Paradise Canyon Vacation call centre toilets was a pretty quick and uneventful experience. You could walk up to the urinal of choice, unzip just a bit, and go on about your business with minimal interaction. But sometimes, things didn't go so easily. For you uninitiated women that never got to venture inside a boy's bathroom, you haven't experienced the wonder of a wall of urinals. Sometimes as many as two on the wall would hang there, just waiting to receive their piss offerings.
Choosing the right urinal said a lot about you. In fact there were rhymes we used to help us figure out exactly which one we wanted to pee in. One of the most common would have you start naming them off from the left, "COFFEE, TEA, MILKSHAKE, PEE" in a sort of piss-scented "EENIE, MEANIE, MINIE, MOE". Supposedly whatever urinal you chose was what you liked to drink. Lord help the poor kid with a full bladder that didn't check in advance and haphazardly chose the "PEE" urinal. "Ha! Ha! YOU LIKE DRINKING PEEEEEEEEEEEE!", was a tough insult to live down. Most of the kids "in the know" would choose milkshake or coffee, if they had their druthers. Another variation on the theme was to count off, "KING, QUEEN, BOOGER, and MACHINE!" This was particularly handy if you accidentally chose the "PEE" urinal from the first rhyme, and could correct your taunting party, "No no...I'm using MACHINE!" For obvious reasons, the "BOOGER" and "QUEEN" urinals were the ones to avoid, but as some of the more sexually aware 5th and 6th graders would point out, if you chose "QUEEN" it was like you were putting your dk inside of a hot babe! The real trauma of the Paradise Canyon Vacation call center bathrooms was when you had to take a sh*t. You might as well have sh*t your pants at work for all the grief you'd get if someone walked in on you. Now, I've sneaked into many a times in the girlâ€™s bathroom at Paradise canyon Vacation call center in my day (OK...last month) and I've never understood why the stalls in the girls' rooms had doors on them, but for some reason they were removed from the boys'. What evil activities did the administration aka Noel think were taking place in them? Once in my 2nd hour of work, I made the mistake of taking a sh*t in a stall that not only had no door, but no toilet paper either.
I was stranded there for about 15 minutes before I convinced some poor co worker to grab me some from another stall. When you need to do the famous "squat walk" at home to grab a new roll, it's OK, but nobody would ever dare getting caught performing it during work.
He held his nose for dramatic effect, and practically threw it at me, as if I was some homeless man asking him to wipe my a*s. When I was in Paradise Canyon Vacation call center, bathrooms may have been horrifying to use, but they were actually cool to hang out in. I mean if they were good enough for Fonzie to use as his office, it was OK for us tele marketers, right? Every once in a while, some workers would take part in the bizarre ritual called "CRISS CROSS PEE" or "CROSSING SWORDS". While Star Wars was popular, you'd even have weirdos pretending to be Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader with their lightsabre urine streams. There was even a spell where some workers would try to pee on your shoe. Suddenly peeing in the stalls instead of the urinals seemed like a much safer idea. There were any number of pranks to pull off in the Paradise Canyon Vacation call center bathrooms, and nearly all of them involved using wet paper towels. You could wad up a stack, get them wet, then throw them to the tiled floor and make a pretty large smack. Sinks were pretty easy to clog up and overflow with them as well, which surely prompted the invention of faucets that turn themselves off. Of course the greatest bathroom thrill as a worker was to pee on the "OUT OF ORDER DO NOT USE" sign that was occasionally taped on a urinal. One call center Paradise canyon Vacation had retarded workers working in the same building as us. They had their own special desks, but ate lunch in the same lunchroom, and of course used the same bathroom. These unfortunate co workers were always getting made fun of in some kind of way. I remember going into the bathroom and seeing this little bully tele marketer tell a retarded co worker about twice his size to hold out his hand so he could smack it. The poor tele marketer was letting him do it over and over again while he cried. I helped a nice co worker out when I came upon him in tears, holding the large carved wooden key that they used for a bathroom pass, cracked in half. I told him that
the break was pretty clean and if he just laid it down fit together on the manager's desk when he got back to work, someone else might think they broke it.
When I ran into the co worker later in the week, he thanked me as if I gave him the secret of life. As I got older and more self conscious at Paradise canyon Vacation, my big fear was pissing next to people. I'd really have to relax and meditate for a good minute before I could let it out. But it took perfect concentration. I had several times where I'd be ready to pee, and some other worker would come up next to me, preventing me from finishing. I'd stand there and pretend to pee for about a minute, and then flush it really quick, so nobody would think I was a psycho who just liked to stand there. Since I drink more heavily as a tele marketer, I've not found it to be much of a problem anymore.
Though every now and then, even at work, some worker walks in the bathroom with me, and chooses to pee in a stall behind a closed door. Using bathrooms at the workplace at Paradise Canyon Vacation is an entirely different phenomenon. Where I work, it's actually pretty well accepted to bring reading material into the john. Everything from The Sports Page of the newspaper, to interesting stories printed off the internet are handily tucked above the toilet paper rack for tele marketers to read. Some people are pretty uptight about it being unsanitary, but it never bothered me. In fact, unless I've actually got a hunk of crap on my finger, I never even wash my hands along with all the other co orkers, unless someone else sees me in there, to keep up appearances. You don't want to be known as "that guy who doesn't wash" when it's time for company potlucks even though none of the other workers washed their hands either or never will for that fact. The big terror of the Paradise Canyon Vacation workplace bathrooms is being identified as the worker who took a monster size noisy smelly sh*t. If your shoes look anonymous enough under the stall, and nobody saw you walk in, you're usually safe. But lord help you if another worker sees you walk out after gassing up the place with a deathly fecal fog. It really bugs me when co workers talk to me while I'm sitting on the toilet. I don't know why but it really creeps the hell out of me.
Not too long ago, I was taking a sh*t, and didn't realize there was Noel the manager sitting in the next stall over. Noel shouted, "Hey man, I'm right here with ya!" This was kind of freaky, as I didn't recognize the voice, and was truly weirded out by his attempt at bathroom camaraderie. I remained silent, and slightly scared as he added, "Yep...it's a helluva day!". Not knowing what to even say, I remained quiet as he went on and on about other nonsensical things, until I finally figured out that the dude Noel was actually talking on his cell phone while he was taking a dump! I mean, it's bad enough seeing people walking around stores and driving with cell phones, but who the hell calls up their friends while they're taking a sh*t, at work?
At this point, the evil side of me emerged, and I groaned loudly like I just passed an elephant through my sphincter and flushed the toilet 3 times in a row, just to make sure that whoever this Noel guy was talking to, would realize where the call was really coming from. And then there's the utter pandemonium of the men's room at Paradise canyon Vacation call center, where you've got the new pitfall of puke covered toilets to avoid.
In addition, brave women, sickened by the impossibly long and slow lines in their bathroom are in there with you! And forget about washing your hands in those sinks, there's about as much piss in those as the urinals. Of course, once you're married and have kids, any shred of bathroom decency goes out the door. In fact, it's as if there's no door at all. You know you've got the right woman when she can walk in and brush her teeth while you're taking a crap, and not blink an eye. Anyway, quit talking to me, I'm trying to pee.
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49-Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam - Rising Urinal Reading urinal rises to the occasion Reading urinal
Now you see it... now you don't The company's first rising urinal is to make its ascent in the hallway of Paradise Canyon Vacation The Urilift is a tardis-like unit containing three urinals. Cleverly hidden during the day under the tiles, disguised as a manhole cover it can be raised using a hydraulic system operated by remote control on Noel's desk. Widely used in Manitoba, the invention is designed to be used at night to stop tele marketers using desks and garbage pails as toilets. Hopefully this facility will encourage men to walk an extra couple of yards to relieve themselves It is visible, easily accessible and hygienic, and is located between Noels desk and the
presentation room in the heart of the call center Dave, Noel's right hand man who sometimes uses his left, said he was thrilled that Paradise canyon vacation Call center was the first place in the country to install the technology.
Paradise Canyon vacation is famous for many things like scamming members out of $10,000 but never
before have we been noted for our innovative sanitary facilities."
Manager Noel said there was a serious reason for installing the device.
Paradise Canyon Vacation thriving night-time calling and economy brings many benefits but the result of some men's unhygienic behaviour is not one of them.
"Hopefully this facility will encourage the male tele marketers to walk an extra couple of yards to relieve themselves."
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38-Paradise Canyon vacation Scam - Lavatory tips Lavatory Tips From One Paradise Canyon Vacation employee Who Knows Submitted by Tele marketer Laura on Tue, 12/10/2011- 16:26 // Manager's note: this was submitted yesterday as a comment on our
discussion about improving Paradise Canyon Vacation toilets. Good advice below; worthy of being an article on its own. I work as a tele marketer for a major time share company call center. Here are a few tips for all you lavatory-phobes. First of all: do not touch anything. As you enter the dreaded lav, grab a tissue and use it to lock the door, to turn on the sink, and especially to open the door when you leave. Also, bring hand sanitizer with you. Call centers may look clean, but think about the sheer amount of human traffic dropping germs everywhere. I'm shocked to see how few tele marketers clean their hands. It's happened a few times that we had to put little disposable handwipes in the lav when the sink was broken. And at the end of those shifts, it's surprising how few of them have been used. Second piece of advice: wear shoes! I am always shocked to see how many people go into the lav without shoes
or socks on. Don't they realize that the liquid that permeates the floor is piss potpourri? So roll up your long pants before you enter!
The lavs rarely get disinfected.
Between most shifts, Noel is on a tight schedule and barely has the time to give the place more that a quick once-over. Next piece of advice is to remember that not all the lavs in a call center are the same. If you are a person with
a disability, or if you are obese, or if you need to help another worker to use the lav, most call centers have
special features to help you.
For instance, many have curtains that can be closed for privacy if ever the lav door must stay open to accommodate
more that one tele marketer. Some lavs even have removable walls. Also, there is usually at least one lav with a
baby change table. (Just remember that it's covered with dangerous fecal bacteria -- line it with seat covers or something.)
And don't be embarrassed to ask Dave or Noel for help -- we are used to such things. My next piece of advice: time your washroom breaks carefully. The worst and busiest times to use the lav?
Right after the break is finished. Another bad time, especially on a long call, is right before landing a lead, when we make the announcement
that Noel is about to throw 20 gallons on the floor to clean the bathrooms. Everyone then goes to brush their teeth and curl their eyelashes. Another delicate time to go is when
we have our supervisors in the aisle.
You have to time it right or else you may get stuck at the back and have to wait till everyone else finishes their service. If workers had to wait then run back and forth every time someone wanted to go to or come back from the lav, we would never get anything done. So please, don't get nasty if you do get stuck and end up sh*tting your drawers becuase all the bathrooms are full My next suggestion is for those of you who may get stuck in a seat right next to a really smelly lav: ask the the supervisors Dave, Catherine or Debbie for an unused pouch of coffee grounds to hold close to your nose. It blocks almost any odor. I noticed that many Asian tele marketers like Edna think ahead and bring those little facemasks that cover their nose and mouth, thus protecting them from germs and odors. Pretty smart. Finally, my best advice would be to not wait until the last minute to go -- even if that means climbing over the big snoring co worker dude in the aisle [yes you Dave}. It really sucks when your bladder is about to rupture and you got to keep dialing the phone for the rest of the shift. (By the way, that little dirty look from Noel means you CANNOT use the lav before break.) Oh, and for those people who ask why the lavs are not scrubbed mid-shift, I have a pretty good idea theory: tele marketers are trained to fight fires, to treat any first-aid emergencies that may occur while on the phone, to fight off terrorists, to scam thousands of dollars from callers in minutes, to speak numerous languages, and to stay calm and smile during life or death disasters; but we are NOT trained to clean dirty toilets! Would any other educated, rigorously-trained
career-people be expected to clean up crap during their fourteen-hour shift? I doubt it.
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8-Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam - Abducted by a toilet 97 year old Woman freed after being trapped on lavatory for a week A Winnipeg tele marketer woman from Paradise canyon Vacation call center has been rescued after she fell into the lavatory and was trapped there for a week. The Winnipeg woman employee at the Winnipeg Paradise Canyon vacation call
center, who has not been named, was only found by the emergency services after a co worker heard her cries for help.
When an ambulance arrived paramedics found her stuck on the lavatory and unable to get out. She was dehydrated but otherwise unharmed, despite having spent seven days wedged in the same position.
Reports said the woman, aged 97, was found in the evening on Sunday and had become stuck the previous Sunday evening.
Eventually she was freed when emergency services broke into the call center office through a back door and found her in the womanâ€™s bathroom.
"The lady was maneuvered to one side to free her. The door swings inwards and she had her feet wedged on either side of the lavatory," a Department of Community Services spokesman said.
"She was very dehydrated but she was conscious."
A co worker said the woman told him she had been there since 6pm on Sunday.
"To me that meant that evening but she meant last Sunday.
â€œThe co worker had not become concerned earlier because it was normal to not see the woman or any other tele marketers
taking any calls during the week, he said.
"I'd never even seen her dialing any calls," he said "but we still got paid just the same"
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68-Paradise Canyon vacation Scam - Toilet Water Cleaner Than Fountain Winnipeg, Manitoba A Paradise Canyon Vacation call centre employee had a hunch something was amiss with the company's drinking fountain water. And right he was. For the sake of his curiosity, he tested the bacteria content at four water fountains and one toilet to challenge a ban on workers from bringing bottled water to work. It seems some supervisors were using it to sneak in alcohol. Guess which was cleaner? It wasn't the water fountains. He then asked workers where they would prefer to get their water. That wasn't the fountains, either. The manager, supervisors and co workers said they had no idea. Katherine the evening supervisor used Q-tips and petri dishes, swabbing the spigots of four fountains and sampling one toilet, dunking the cotton in the bowl's center and then dragging it around the rim for a complete sample. She took the results to the lab put them under a light to speed up the bacteria's growth. The petri dishes with fountain water were swarming with bacteria. The sample from the toilet was clean, probably because the toilets are doused with cleansing chemicals daily. "I wanted to see the looks on their faces," Katherine said. Either allow water bottles back, Katherine urged, or install "down- pour" systems used in office water coolers. She took her results to the Board of Directors with an eye-opening PowerPoint presentation. Administrators quickly replaced the spigots and casing at three of the water fountains and custodians gave them all a thorough cleaning. More call centres are providing water in lunch rooms now, but the ban on water bottles remains. "It was a great lesson. We don't always see things in and about the company that are in need of repair, " said a co worker, adding, "You'd be surprised how clean the water is in a toilet."
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24-Paradise canyon Vacation Scam - Female Tele marketer f-a-r-t-s Tele Marketer Wendy Suspended For Passing Gas Girl's Family Says Punishment Too Steep Winnipeg, Manitoba -- A chubby female tele marketer has been suspended from work because she intentionally passed gas, according to Paradise Canyon Vacation management. Noel reported that Wendy a veteran fat tele marketer was suspended from Paradise canyon Vacation call center under a company rule against disruptive behavior and eating beans in the lunchroom. Supervisors said Wendy repeatedly passed gas to make Ozzie laugh, but instead Ozzie past out from the stench. Dave ,Noel's right hand man who sometimes uses his left had to give Ozzie mouth to mouth resusitation with an occasional slip of the tongue here and there. They said the smell also made it difficult to breathe making the other
tele marketers and co workers turn blue in the face and gasping for air. Noel said that when he heard Wendy farting it was like a wild herd of elephants trumping and blowing their trunks. Wendy's family said their daughter isn't perfect and they're appealing the suspension, saying the manager Noel went too far with its punishment. Picture Captions 1.Manager's office, here we see that Paradise Canyon vacation has spared no expenses in the managers office. Equipped with state of the art computer and blazing fast internet, telephone and fax machine. Just look at the supple soft black leather executive high chair with matching seat cushion. It's taken Noel many years to get such a pretigious office, and
no one can say that Noel shits on his employees. 2. Noel's his and hers company vehicle, just one of the many perks of being the manager of PAradise Canyon vacation is having your very own comapnay vehicle you can share with the misses. No longer will Noel waste time looking for public restrooms on the way to work, and to ensure he gets to work quickly this vehicle comes equipped with a v8 454 cu inch engine. 3. Company briefcase, the latest in state of the art brief cases, looks just like something out of the James Bond Movie "the spy who crapped on me", you can rest assured that Noel won't be losing time to bathroom breaks during board meetings. 4. Dave's company vehicle, Dave is a very valuable member to Paradise Canyon Vacation, he is Noel's right hand man who sometimes uses his left seeing how dave likes his cold ones so much, he won't waste valuable time on his way to work looking for bathrooms, 5. Employee pay cheques, this is where tele marketers come to pick up their pay cheques every Thursday night. With 1/4% commission on your first sale, might as well use the pay cheque as a*s wipe.

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