Suddenly, bill anounces he has throat cancer and thing would be easier if we mover up the wedding a few weeks so "next of kin " would be able to stay at the hosp with him. I agreed.This is when i learned he had not been with the company long enough(if at all) to be covered by insurance, but , since i am a retired vet and he is now my legal dependent, he is now intitled to 100% hosp medicine, surgical, care, at no cost at all to him as long as we are married.

Admitidly, he did have thyroid cancer and did require surgery and radiation treatment, but suddenly, he found he could do almost nothing to help himself. if i needed help with any thing he suddenly became dizzy, weak, difficult breathing, etc and had to go to bed.However, things he wanted to do was no problem for him.

As soon as we returned from our honeymoon, he started taking over all the finances, stating that was the least he could do since i was keeping up the house and yard and dealing with my own disability. i had to sell my farm and use the money to buy a house he wanted. he traded my dodge and his beat up upside downon payments subaru for a $35,000 brand new chev. avalanch financed over 5 years and stated as soon as we paid it off we would look for me a car.

At the beginning of our marrage the one thing i insisted on was that we keep our money seperate. he had his own checking, savings, etc in his name only and i had my own checking, savings, in addition to an IRA, an annuity account,started in 1986. We also agreed that we did not have to account to the other as long as we paid one half of our fair share of shared expenses each month.

In order to do this, we set up a joint checking account in both names which he maintained and which was to be used only to pay bills. At the end of each month he would tell me my half of the bills was xxxxamount and i would write him a check for that amount assuming he was also writing a check out of his personal account for the same amount. this was to cover home loan, water electric, truck loan, groceries, anything shared.

i had one credit card in my name only and if i wanted something like a new dress or take a friend to lunch, or a new lamp, i charged it on my credit card and paid off the balance each month. we did not ever have joint credit cards although he complained constantly about wanting one.

My disability continued to get worse with all the physical and emotional stress i was under and with the help of the american legion, and five years of fighting with the veterans admiestration, i was finally awarded 100% unemployability with five years back pay and retired pay.

This was a nice amount of money, but certainly not enough to destroy people's lives and say and do what came next. He demanded i give him this money to"invest" for me. When i refused, he staged a domestic violence scene early one morning.

At 7;30am i was sitting in the sun soom drinking coffee and he comes in and leans over me and shouts in my face, "where's my coffee?" i said "fool, it's in the pot". He grabbed a large porceline decortive bowle off the kitchen table and threw it against the kitchen sink. he then grabed the dog dish off the floor and flung it against the cabinet spilling watter and food everywhere. the phon was near me so i grabbed it and dialed 911, he lunged for it, but the operator was already on the line. i told her my husband was going crazy and throwing things and i was scared to death and to please send help. While i was on the phone, bill started trying to scoop up the mess and when i hung up he grabbed for the phone and i just ran out of the house to the next door neighbors and waited for the police. this happened jan 19, 08 and all i had on was pajamas and sox.

The police interviewed my husband first and took his statement then came next door where i was and got my statement and said they did not match and my husband claimed i attacked him for no reason and i had knives and guns and was capable of anything and was on all kinds of meds and in and out of mental hospitals etc. and had no idea why i attacked. In the police report, the officer wrote he noted a 1cm cut to bill's little finger and when asked how he got it , he responded he didn't know. However, latter, in his "updated" report, he states he was bleeding profusly from wounds incurred by me to his arms, legs, chest, and bleeding so badly, the officer had to help him change clothes.

in any event, the police informed us somebody had to leave or both of us was going to jail. i volunteered as i did not want to stay there by myself with him on the loose and i had friends i could stay with until i could think things out. the officer allowed me to get dressed i grabbed a few things (don't even know what) forgot coat and sox and left. About one hour latter bill leaves a voice mail on my friends phone stating if i want my things they are all on the front lawn and come get it

i call the police and they meet me at the house and when i drive up, every stitch of clothes, shoes, underwear, jewelry, cosmetics, and porceline, limited edition, collectables i spent my entire military life collecting was being smashed on the sidewalk in front of my house while 4 police officers stood by and watched and i stood there crying and begging them to make him stop. their excuse was it was marital property and therfore they couldnt make him stop and if i interfered, they would lock me up. bill was screaming, cursing and throwing things everywhere. my neighbors witnessed all of this and shortly after this incident the ones on both sides changed their locks and bought guns.

Bill then got an emergency hearing in family court stateing he needed an order of protection against me because he was "in fear of his life". It was refused.however, a few days latter, i was arrested and taken to jail for criminal domestic violence becausebill had this little 1cm cut on his little finger that he probably got smashing up all my treasured possessions. I had to stay i jail 24 hours before my friends could get me out. i then had to hire a criminal defence attny. go to trial, find me not guilty, expunge my record. and try to salvage some of my life.

that was not to be.When the temperary hearing came up where Bill demanded spousal suport and house payments, the judge took one look at all the pictures of the damage Bill had done to the house and all my personal belongings and gave him 48 hours to get out of the house and to take nothing with him.

He came home, called his son in minn. and while he waited for him to arrive, he went through the house and broke everypiece of china, busted up all my furniture he didnt want, peed on my mattress, and destroyed all my plants (i was a master gardner)

When his son arrived, he rented a moving van, loaded up everything left of any value they wanted or liked, my sterling silver, my carnival glass punch bowl, all my military awards,medals,dd214, birth certificate from before i was adopted, all photos of family members long dead, cards and letters from people long gone. in essesence,they erased my entire past,

I am sorry if this has been to long and i have bored you. i really tried to summarize this as much as possible and i have left a lot out which may have caused some confusion. I confess, if i was reading this i would probably wright this off as some crazy lady, but i promise you, i have pictures, police, arrest warrents, attny. bills, taped recordings, arbitration, mediation,affidavits, etc to back up ever single word .

And yes, the Veterans Disability award has now been used to pay divorce, criminal defence,and now bankrupcy attorney fees.