|Paradise Canyon Vacation|
|Why is Paradise Canyon Vacation like a toilet??? |
|28th of Oct, 2011 by STICKSHIFTINHAND |
|Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam|
Why is Paradise Canyon Vacation like a toilet???
- Abducted by a toilet
97 year old Woman freed after being trapped on lavatory for a week
A Winnipeg tele marketer woman from Paradise canyon Vacation call center
has been rescued after she fell into the lavatory and was trapped there
for a week.
The Winnipeg woman employee at the Winnipeg Paradise Canyon vacation call
center, who has not been named, was only found by the emergency services
after a co worker heard her cries for help.
When an ambulance arrived paramedics found her stuck on the lavatory
and unable to get out. She was dehydrated but otherwise unharmed,
despite having spent seven days wedged in the same position.
Reports said the woman, aged 97, was found in the evening on Sunday and had
become stuck the previous Sunday evening.
Eventually she was freed when emergency services broke into the call center
office through a back door and found her in the woman’s bathroom.
"The lady was maneuvered to one side to free her. The door swings inwards
and she had her feet wedged on either side of the lavatory," a Department
of Community Services spokesman said.
"She was very dehydrated but she was conscious."
A co worker said the woman told him she had been there since 6pm on Sunday.
"To me that meant that evening but she meant last Sunday.
“The co worker had not become concerned earlier because
it was normal to not see the woman or any other tele marketers
taking any calls during the week, he said.
"I'd never even seen her dialing any calls," he said "but we still
got paid just the same"
Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam
- Bring your own toilet paper
I worked for the call centre at Paradise Canyon vacation in Winnipeg, every week Noel
would bring us in the presentation room and threaten us if we didn't do better he
would "clean house" and fire us. If you saw the bathrooms you would take getting
fired as a blessing. The bathroom floors were never mopped, Noel would just dump
20 gallons of water on the floors and there would be 2 inches of water on the
floors, until it dried. Then we had the ants crawling all over the bathroom
floors, rumor has it that they were Gaga's aka Sega’s crabs, the girl who
slanders employees on scam.com, complaining of smell when in fact the smell was
coming from her own yeast infection. The garbage pails were always full of
employees garbage and doughnuts, that would explain all the ants, the garbage
was emptied a good once a month, the garbage was always 2 feet over the small
garbage pails. As for the bathrooms there was hardly ever any toilet paper,
the employees were using the toilet paper to dry their hands since the paper
towel dispensers were always empty. If you have to go to the bathroom for a
crap you had better remember to bring your own toilet paper from home.
Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam
– Corncobs at work
What did tele marketers use when out of toilet paper?
Thank your lucky stars you don't work for Paradise Canyon Vacation call center, bucko.
Let me tell you about … corncobs. You may not believe this, but it was once common practice at the
Paradise Canyon Vacation call center to leave a corncob hanging from a string in the bathroom stall
for purposes of personal hygiene. The string, I gather, was to permit the cob to be reused. For
those who were punctilious in these matters, or else blessed with an abundance of corncobs, a box
of disposable cobs might be provided if the tele marketer met his sales goal for the week instead.
On Sundays and Mondays, the cob might be replaced by a mussel shell.
For those tele marketers with 2 or more sales in the evening, paper from discarded books or newspapers
was often provided by management to either of the foregoing. The meteoric growth of the Paradise Canyon
Vacation pamphlets, for instance, is thought to be partly attributable to
the protean nature of its catalogs, which, historians tells us, might serve a family of regular habits
for an entire season. As with the cob, the Paradise Canyon vacation pamphlets would be hung
in the bathroom on a string and pages torn off as needed. It's said the use of coated stock, which was
nonabsorbent, was a source of great consternation to travel members who could afford to join at
$10,000 to $15,000. when Paradise Canyon Vacation began printing color pictures in their pamphlets.
Families, in attempting to teach their sons to be cultivated gentlemen, often advised hoarding an
inexpensive volume of Paradise Canyon vacation Travel pamphlets for use in the loo. The idea, of course,
was that while you were sitting there in a contemplative state you'd be able to read
why Paradise canyon Vacations is no cheaper than other travel service and most often you will find more
expensive if you shop around, following which the paper aka travel pamphlet could be put to other ends,
so to speak. It hasn't escaped my notice that my magnum opus, that is Latin for stay away from Paradise
Canyon Vacation, is also well suited for this purpose. Maybe we should perforate the pages, for maximum
comfort and ease because that is all the travel pamphlet is good for.
Paradise Canyon vacation Scam
- Employee asleep for two days on call center toilet
Published: 2011 Oct 06 7:26pm
A 47-year-old man was asleep on Paradise Canyon Vacation call center toilet
for one and a half days before being discovered by staff, it has emerged.
The man had been hired as a casual tel;e marketer 26th October 2011, suffering
from pains in the chest and abdomen from stressful calls. Co workers gave him samples
of thier calls, and decided he be ok for the rest of the night.
But Noel came to his desk at 7:30pm to give him his booking results, his chair was empty
and the worker had disappeared.
Staff searched for the man in the immediate vicinity of the the call center, but did not find him.
Supervisors assumed that the man had left the call center, so Noel discharged him. It was only
nearly two days later that the man was found in a toilet
adjacent to Noel's office. He appeared to have gone there on his own, locked himself in the
toilet and fell aleep.
"He had been there for one and a half days," said Dave, Noel's right hand man who sometimes
uses his left acting as a spokesman to The Local.
Franzén said she could not reveal whether doctors had considered the man's condition to be
life-threatening, but she did say that he had not been confused.
"If a tele marketer is in a confused state then we keep an eye on them, but that was
not judged to be the case here."
Dave said that a more thorough search of the call center for the man had not been
"We are a very big call center, and it's not unusual for workers to just leave.
We didn't look for him because he was not confused."
The call center said in the future that bathroom passes will be assigned.
Paradise canyon Vacation Scam
- Female Tele marketer f-a-r-t-s
Tele Marketer Wendy Suspended For Passing Gas
Girl's Family Says Punishment Too Steep
Winnipeg, Manitoba -- A chubby female tele marketer has been suspended
from work because she intentionally passed gas, according to
Paradise Canyon Vacation management.
Noel reported that Wendy a veteran fat tele marketer was suspended from
Paradise canyon Vacation call center under a company rule against
disruptive behavior and eating beans in the lunchroom.
Supervisors said Wendy repeatedly passed gas to make Ozzie laugh, but
instead Ozzie past out from the stench. Dave,Noel's right hand man
who sometimes uses his left had to give Ozzie mouth to mouth
resuscitation with an occasional slip of the tongue.
They said the smell also made it difficult to breathe making the other
tele marketers and co workers turn blue in the face and gasping for air.
Noel said that when he heard Wendy farting it was like a wild herd of
elephants trumping and blowing their trunks.
Wendy's family said their daughter isn't perfect and they're appealing
the suspension, saying the manager Noel went too far with its punishment.
Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam
- Gaga aka Sega has crabs or is that dinner for 2
Now that the truth comes out about Paradise Canyon Vacation employees selling stolen Xbox,
play station pc games and blue ray movies, the employees like Gaga aka Sega come out of
the wood word to protect their jobs, Gaga aka Sega you can go and eat the shit out of
Paradise Canyon toilets call centre, because you’re a piece of shit like the rest of
them, I sat next to this person you’re trying to slander and he was a perfect gentleman,
and even though he rode to work, he changed his clothes and brought spare clothes, as for
mental the only mental people is you for protecting Paradise Canyon Vacation it's funny
Gaga aka Sega how you didn’t mention the stolen sports jerseys and stolen Xbox games and
blue ray movies and when our cousin's bike seat was stolen he mentioned to Noel about
Loren selling stolen movies and Xbox games and Noel the manager told our cousin it was
ok as long as employees got good prices, Gaga aka Sega why did you leave out employees
selling and buying stolen goods Gaga aka Sega how much did Noel pay you to slander our
cousin, or is Gaga really Noel impersonating an employee to try and save his company
and sales Gaga aka Sega you can lick my ass and let me crap in your mouth, look at you
trying to scam innocent people out of $10,000 dollars, next time you’re on the phone ,
just tell the truth and tell the people its $3,500 down not refundable, and $50 a month
for 20 years oh and don't forgot the lengthy contract they got to sign, when you can do
this, then you can talk shit about people, till then keep licking the urinals at Paradise
Canyon Vacation call centre. You didn’t quit gaga Noel fired your ass because you couldn’t
produce bookings, and Gaga aka Sega those ants in the ladies bathroom floor, those are not ants,
those were your crabs, were those crabs the free dinner for two you were offering callers on the
phone to attend the free presentation, Gaga aka Sega go see a doctor you skank.
Paradise Canyon vacation Scam
- Lavatory tips
Lavatory Tips From One Paradise Canyon Vacation employee Who Knows
Submitted by Tele marketer Laura on Tue, 12/12/2010 - 15:26 //
Manager's note: this was submitted yesterday as a comment on our
discussion about improving Paradise Canyon Vacation toilets.
Good advice below; worthy of being an article on its own.
I work as a tele marketer for a major time share company call center.
Here are a few tips for all you lavatory-phobes.
First of all: do not touch anything. As you enter the dreaded lav, grab a tissue and use it to lock the door,
to turn on the sink, and especially to open the door when you leave. Also, bring hand sanitizer with you.
Call centers may look clean, but think about the sheer amount of human traffic dropping germs everywhere.
I'm shocked to see how few tele marketers clean their hands. It's happened a few times that we had to put
little disposable handwipes in the lav when the sink was broken. And at the end of those shifts, it's
surprising how few of them have been used.
Second piece of advice: wear shoes! I am always shocked to see how many people go into the lav without shoes
or socks on. Don't they realize
that the liquid that permeates the floor is piss potpourri? So roll up your long pants before you enter!
The lavs rarely get disinfected.
Between most shifts, Noel is on a tight schedule and barely has the time to give the place more that a
Next piece of advice is to remember that not all the lavs in a call center are the same. If you are a person with
a disability, or if you are obese, or if you need to help another worker to use the lav, most call centers have
special features to help you.
For instance, many have curtains that can be closed for privacy if ever the lav door must stay open to accommodate
more that one tele marketer. Some lavs even have removable walls. Also, there is usually at least one lav with a
baby change table.
(Just remember that it's covered with dangerous fecal bacteria -- line it with seat covers or something.)
And don't be embarrassed to
ask Dave or Noel for help -- we are used to such things.
My next piece of advice: time your washroom breaks carefully. The worst and busiest times to use the lav?
Right after the break is finished.
Another bad time, especially on a long call, is right before landing a lead, when we make the announcement
that Noel is about to throw 20
gallons on the floor to clean the bathrooms.
Everyone then goes to brush their teeth and curl their eyelashes. Another delicate time to go is when
we have our supervisors in the aisle.
You have to time it right or else you may get stuck at the back and have to wait till everyone else
finishes their service. If workers had to wait then run back and forth every time someone wanted
to go to or come back from the lav, we would never get anything done. So please, don't get nasty
if you do get stuck and end up shitting your drawers becuase all the bathrooms are full
My next suggestion is for those of you who may get stuck in a seat right next to a really smelly
lav: ask the the supervisors Dave, Catherine or Debbie for an unused pouch of coffee grounds to
hold close to your nose. It blocks almost any odor. I noticed that many Asian tele marketers like
Edna think ahead and bring those little facemasks that cover their nose and mouth, thus protecting
them from germs and odors. Pretty smart.
Finally, my best advice would be to not wait until the last minute to go -- even if that means
climbing over the big snoring co worker dude in the aisle [yes you Dave}.
It really sucks when your bladder is about to rupture and you got to keep dialing the phone for
the rest of the shift.
(By the way, that little dirty look from Noel means you CANNOT use the lav before break.)
Oh, and for those people who ask why the lavs are not scrubbed mid-shift, I have a pretty
theory: tele marketers are trained to fight fires, to treat any first-aid emergencies that may
occur while on the phone, to fight off terrorists, to scam thousands of dollars from callers in
minutes, to speak numerous languages, and to stay calm and smile during life or death disasters;
but we are NOT trained to clean dirty toilets! Would any other educated, rigorously-trained
career-people be expected to clean up crap during their fourteen-hour shift? I doubt it.
Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam
- Men will be boys
BRAVE NEW Work Place
Boys told no standing to urinate
'It is a human right not to have to sit down like a girl'
'Standing room only' work place
It's an entirely new definition of "Standing Room Only." Or perhaps a new measure of
"equality" has arrived.
Whatever it is, it has sparked a huge political debate at Paradise Canyon Vacation call center
The trigger for the explosion of opinion? A decision in the Winnipeg district that male tele
marketers must sit on toilet seats when urinating, not stand.
According to the news report, the rule was announced for boys and men at Paradise canyon Vacation
call center, prompting outrage from workers.
Accusing the company of "fiddling with God's work," and now workers want the issue discussed at
the executive committee at Paradise Canyon Vacaton
"When men are not allowed to pee in the natural way, the way men have done for generations,
it is meddling with God's work,"
"It is a human right not to have to sit down like a girl," said Sinder senior employee on
his return from India.
Noel did say that the restrooms are used by both boys and girls, and the young boys are not
"good enough at aiming" in order to have "a pleasant toilet."
Paradise Canyon Vacation officials are still listening to opinions on the issue.
Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam
- Noel can sniff Gaga's aka Sega’s Panties
Now that Paradise Canyon Vacation is on line on the internet scam sites. Employees like Allbladerss and gaga
come out of the wood word to protect their jobs, Especially Gaga aka Sega trying to slander innocent workers,
whom she accuses of going on line telling the truth, that Paradise Canyon Vacation don't tell you till the
salesman arrives at your home that it’s $10,000 to $15,000 for the travel membership, and tell you completely
different at the presentations. Noel fired a whole bunch of people like he does every other week,
"cleaning house" as he says, Noel has pissed off many if not hundreds of ex employees including his own Filipino
people. So who is Gaga aka Sega to accuse of going on line you skank.
Allgallbalderss and gaga aka Sega you can both go and eat the shit out of Paradise Canyon toilets call centre,
because your both a piece of shit like the rest of them, gaga aka Sega is the biggest turd of them all
slandering other employees but gaga aka Sega didn’t mention that Noel the manager said it was ok for employees
to sell stolen Xbox, playstaion games as long as employees got good prices, funny how gaga left that part out
Gaga you enjoy trying to scam innocent people out of $10,000 dollars, next time you two are on the phone, just
tell the truth and tell the people its $3,500 down not refundable, and $50 a month for 20 years oh and don't
forgot the lengthy contract they got to sign, Allgallbladerss when you can do this, then you can tell people
to eat your shit, till then you and Gaga keep licking the urinals at Paradise Canyon Vacation call centre.
Gaga it’s easy to talk trash about others, when Noel is paying you to protect his sales, so don't give us the
bull shit you came on your own to shit on employees, by the way Gaga aka Sega that smell you talk about was not
the worker riding his bike to work he brought fresh clothes with him, that smell was of dead fish coming from
your panties, go and see a doctor for yeast infection you skank, or better still have a bake sale don't forget
to invite Dave, Noel's right hand man who sometimes uses his left to the bake sale Dave just loves
fish smelling cream pies.
Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam
- Rising Urinal
Reading urinal rises to the occasion
Now you see it... now you don't
The company's first rising urinal is to make its ascent in the hallway of Paradise Canyon Vacation
The Urilift is a tardis-like unit containing three urinals.
Cleverly hidden during the day under the tiles, disguised as a manhole cover it can be raised using
a hydraulic system operated by remote control on Noel's desk. Widely used in Manitoba, the invention
is designed to be used at night to stop tele marketers using desks and garbage pails as toilets.
Hopefully this facility will encourage men to walk an extra couple of yards to relieve themselves
It is visible, easily accessible and hygienic, and is located between Noels desk and the
presentation room in the heart of the call center
Dave, Noel's right hand man who sometimes uses his left, said he was thrilled that Paradise canyon
vacation Call center was the first place
in the country to install the technology.
Paradise Canyon vacation is famous for many things like scamming members out of $10,000 but never
before have we been noted for our innovative sanitary facilities."
Manager Noel said there was a serious reason for installing the device.
Paradise Canyon Vacation thriving night-time calling and economy brings many benefits but the result
of some men's unhygienic behaviour is not one of them.
"Hopefully this facility will encourage the male tele marketers to walk an extra couple
of yards to relieve themselves."
Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam
- Tele marketer's head stuck in toilet seat
Firefighters Manitoba came to the rescue of a tele marketer who had a toilet seat stuck on his head.
The worker, aged 18 and a half, and his worried supervisor went to Winnipeg fire station after she
was unable to get the toilet seat off his head.
Firefighter said: "We put some dish washing liquid on his head and ears and it slid off nice as pie.
"The tele marketer was very brave and didn't make a fuss and once we had got the seat off he toddled
away as happy as can be."
The fireman added: "The tele marketer had put his head through it and couldn't get it out again,
he came in here wearing it like a collar.
"His supervisor had tried to get it over his head but couldn't budge it so she walked him down here
and asked us to have a look at it and we went to work and we managed to get it off in no time."
Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam
- The Guide to Taking a Dump at Work
Originally published in 2005 as "The Paradise Canyon Vacation Tele marketers guide
to taking a dump in a call center"...this document is a living tribute to something
we all have to do at our jobs from time to time. Foul smells, rude sounds, and bad
reputations are the stuff of legend or nightmare for many a minimum wage worker
tele marketer. With this "Guide to taking a dump at work" we will "show you the ropes
and help through a difficult learning time for many, and a happy place for others...
Escapee -- A f-a-r-t that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in
a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is
similar to the hot flash you receive when passing a police car while speeding. If you
release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing
next to the f-a-r-t-e-r at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee,
it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
Jailbreak (Used in conjunction with escapee) -- When forcing poop, several farts slip
out at a machine gun's pace. This is usually
a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in
the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of
what just occurred.
Courtesy Flush -- The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the log hits
the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount
of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught
doing the WALK OF SHAME.
Walk of Shame -- Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just
stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in.
As with all f-a-r-t-s, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.
Out of the Closet Pooper -- A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You
will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine
under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out of the Closet pooper before
entering the bathroom.
Pooping Friends Network -- A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency
pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts
of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.
Safe Haven -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect
visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds
of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
Turd Burgler -- A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the
door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when work taking
a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way, you
will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
Camo-cough -- A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a
stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very
effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
Astaire -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a
stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the
bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
Watermelon -- A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an
embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
Havana Omelet -- A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water.
Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.
Uncle Ted -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths
of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax
while on the c-r-a-p-p-e-r, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty.
This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
Fly-by -- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers.
If there are others in the bathroom, leave, and come back again. Be careful not to become a
FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
Crack Whore -- A c-r-a-p-p-e-r that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Tell- tale signs of a CRACK WHORE
include pubes, p-i-s-s stains and s-h-i-t streaks. Avoid CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try finding out when the
janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget, a CRACK WHORE can become a SAFE HAVEN.
Paradise Canyon vacation Scam
- THE HELL OF RESTROOMS
When I was at Paradise Canyon Vacation Call Center,
we had a small bathroom next to the closet. It was nothing fancy, just a sink and a toilet, but it got the job done.
A reversible sign on the door had a red STOP and a green GO to let you know whether or not someone was inside.
Of course, our high society humor would call for switching the sign to GO while someone was inside, and let the hilarity ensue.
One day, Dave the supervisor, Noel's right hand man who sometimes uses his left, tapped me on the shoulder and started yelling
at me for peeing on the toilet seat and floor. I hadn't even used the bathroom yet that day, so the sloppy pisser had to have
been someone else another tele marketer. But arguing with Dave was next to impossible, so I had to spend my entire lunch break
wiping the floor with bits of toilet paper, while the other tele marketers teased me.
Needless to say, I've had a thing about public restrooms ever since. I'm not one of those guys like that character in AMERICAN PIE
who had to hold it until he went home, but I've certainly had my share of bathroom hang-ups. For the most part, urinating in
Paradise Canyon Vacation call centre toilets was a pretty quick and uneventful experience. You could walk up to the urinal of choice,
unzip just a bit, and go on about your business with minimal interaction. But sometimes, things didn't go so easily.
For you uninitiated women that never got to venture inside a boy's bathroom, you haven't experienced the wonder of a wall of urinals.
Sometimes as many as two on the wall would hang there, just waiting to receive their piss offerings.
Choosing the right urinal said a lot about you. In fact there were rhymes we used to help us figure out exactly which one we wanted
to pee in. One of the most common would have you start naming them off from the left, "COFFEE, TEA, MILKSHAKE, PEE" in a sort of
p-i-s-s-scented "EENIE, MEANIE, MINIE, MOE". Supposedly whatever urinal you chose was what you liked to drink. Lord help the poor kid
with a full bladder that didn't check in advance and haphazardly chose the "PEE" urinal. "Ha! Ha! YOU LIKE DRINKING PEEEEEEEEEEEE!",
was a tough insult to live down. Most of the kids "in the know" would choose milkshake or coffee, if they had their druthers.
Another variation on the theme was to count off, "KING, QUEEN, BOOGER, and MACHINE!" This was particularly handy if you accidentally chose
the "PEE" urinal from the first rhyme, and could correct your taunting party, "No no...I'm using MACHINE!" For obvious reasons, the
"BOOGER" and "QUEEN" urinals were the ones to avoid, but as some of the more sexually aware 5th and 6th graders would point out,
if you chose "QUEEN" it was like you were putting your dick inside of a hot babe!
The real trauma of the Paradise Canyon Vacation call center bathrooms was when you had to take a s-h-i-t. You might as well have s-h-i-t
your pants at work for all the grief you'd get if someone walked in on you. Now, I've sneaked into many a times in the girl’s bathroom
at Paradise canyon Vacation call center in my day
(OK...last month) and I've never understood why the stalls in the girls' rooms had doors on them, but for some reason they were removed
from the boys'. What evil activities did the administration aka Noel think were taking place in them?
Once in my 2nd hour of work, I made the mistake of taking a shit in a stall that not only had no door, but no toilet paper either.
I was stranded there for about 15 minutes before I convinced some poor co worker to grab me some from another stall. When you need
to do the famous "squat walk" at home to grab a new roll, it's OK, but nobody would ever dare getting caught performing it during work.
He held his nose for dramatic effect, and practically threw it at me, as if I was some homeless man asking him to wipe my ass.
When I was in Paradise Canyon Vacation call center, bathrooms may have been horrifying to use, but they were actually cool to hang out in.
I mean if they were good enough for Fonzie to use as his office, it was OK for us tele marketers, right? Every once in a while, some
workers would take part in the bizarre ritual called "CRISS CROSS PEE" or "CROSSING SWORDS". While Star Wars was popular, you'd even have
weirdos pretending to be Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader with their lightsabre urine streams. There was even a spell where some workers
would try to pee on your shoe. Suddenly peeing in the stalls instead of the urinals seemed like a much safer idea.
There were any number of pranks to pull off in the Paradise Canyon Vacation call center bathrooms, and nearly all of them involved using wet
paper towels. You could wad up a stack, get them wet, then throw them to the tiled floor and make a pretty large smack. Sinks were pretty
easy to clog up and overflow with them as well, which surely prompted the invention of faucets that turn themselves off. Of course the
greatest bathroom thrill as a worker was to pee on the "OUT OF ORDER DO NOT USE" sign that was occasionally taped on a urinal.
The call center for Paradise canyon Vacation had retarded workers working in the same building as us. They had their own special desks, but ate
lunch in the same lunchroom, and of course used the same bathroom. These unfortunate co workers were always getting made fun of in some kind
of way. I remember going into the bathroom and seeing this little bully tele marketer tell a retarded co worker about twice his size to hold
out his hand so he could smack it. The poor tele marketer was letting him do it over and over again while he cried. I helped a nice co worker
out when I came upon him in tears, holding the large carved wooden key that they used for a bathroom pass, cracked in half. I told him that
the break was pretty clean and if he just laid it down fit together on the manager's desk when he got back to work, someone else might think
they broke it.
When I ran into the co worker later in the week, he thanked me as if I gave him the secret of life.
As I got older and more self conscious at Paradise canyon Vacation, my big fear was pissing next to people. I'd really have to relax and
meditate for a good minute before I could let it out. But it took perfect concentration. I had several times where I'd be ready to pee,
and some other worker would come up next to me, preventing me from finishing. I'd stand there and pretend to pee for about a minute, and
then flush it really quick, so nobody would think I was a psycho who just liked to stand there. Since I drink more heavily as a tele
marketer, I've not found it to be much of a problem anymore.
Though every now and then, even at work, some worker walks in the bathroom with me, and chooses to pee in a stall behind a closed door.
Using bathrooms at the workplace at Paradise Canyon Vacation is an entirely different phenomenon. Where I work, it's actually pretty well
accepted to bring reading material into the john. Everything from The Sports Page of the newspaper, to interesting stories printed off the
internet are handily tucked above the toilet paper rack for tele marketers to read. Some people are pretty uptight about it being
unsanitary, but it never bothered me. In fact, unless I've actually got a hunk of crap on my finger, I never even wash my hands along with
all the other co orkers, unless someone else sees me in there, to keep up
appearances. You don't want to be known as "that guy who doesn't wash" when it's time for company potlucks even though none of the other
workers washed their hands either or never will for that fact.
The big terror of the Paradise Canyon Vacation workplace bathrooms is being identified as the worker who took a monster size noisy smelly
s-h-i-t. If your shoes look anonymous enough under the stall, and nobody saw you walk in, you're usually safe. But lord help you if another
worker sees you walk out after gassing up the place with a deathly fecal fog.
It really bugs me when co workers talk to me while I'm sitting on the toilet. I don't know why but it really creeps the hell out of me.
Not too long ago, I was taking a s-h-i-t, and didn't realize there was Noel the manager sitting in the next stall over. Noel shouted,
"Hey man, I'm right here with ya!" This was kind of freaky, as I didn't recognize the voice, and was truly weirded out by his attempt
at bathroom camaraderie. I remained silent, and slightly scared as he added, "Yep...it's a helluva day!". Not knowing what to even say,
I remained quiet as he went on and on about other nonsensical things, until I finally figured out
that the dude Noel was actually talking on his cell phone while he was taking a dump!
I mean, it's bad enough seeing people walking around stores and driving with cell phones, but who the hell calls up their friends while
they're taking a shit, at work?
At this point, the evil side of me emerged, and I groaned loudly like I just passed an elephant through my sphincter and flushed the
toilet 3 times in a row, just to make sure that whoever this Noel guy was talking to, would realize where the call was really coming
And then there's the utter pandemonium of the men's room at Paradise canyon Vacation call center, where you've got the new pitfall of
puke covered toilets to avoid.
In addition, brave women, sickened by the impossibly long and slow lines in their bathroom are in there with you! And forget about
washing your hands in those sinks,
there's about as much p-i-s-s in those as the urinals.
Of course, once you're married and have kids, any shred of bathroom decency goes out the door. In fact, it's as if there's no door at all.
You know you've got the right woman when she can walk in and brush her teeth while you're taking a c-r-a-p, and not blink an eye.
Anyway, quit talking to me, I'm trying to pee.
Paradise Canyon Vacation Scam
- Tighter than a bull frog's arse
How cheap is Paradise Canyon Vacation, they are so cheap they
won’t give employees 8 hours a day, and bother people in the
evenings during supper. Even xentel gives employees 8 hours a
a day and the 4 hour option. Paradise canyon vacation is like
a revolving door with employees quitting every day, it is almost
as bad as tele solutions. Except at tele solutions you don't have
to work Sunday nights. Paradise canyon Vacation has no respect
for people they call, they only want their $10,000 travel membership
fee. If they cared about people they would leave people alone on
Sunday nights. You’re supposed to bring your own paper and pencil or
pen and ruler, the company don't supply that. Workers are always
stealing pens and rulers off other workers desks, Noel don't be so
cheap and buy some pens!!! State of the art equipment, really now,
how about $5 bargain shop phones, which only 1/2 are working
properly, all calls are made by hand. Other call centers are using
computers and usb headsets. Where is the $10,000 to $15,000
membership fee going? Either Rod the owner or his manager Noel's
pockets, because there surely is not pens, papers, rulers or
computers with usb headsets. Don't forget the 1/4% sales bonus
incentive, oh my a whole 1/4%, how can they afford this?
Paradise Canyon vacation Scam
- Toilet Water Cleaner Than Fountain
Winnipeg, Manitoba A Paradise Canyon Vacation call centre employee had a hunch
something was amiss with the company's drinking fountain water. And right he was.
For the sake of his curiosity, he tested the bacteria content at four water fountains
and one toilet to challenge a ban on workers from bringing bottled water to work.
It seems some supervisors were using it to sneak in alcohol.
Guess which was cleaner? It wasn't the water fountains.
He then asked workers where they would prefer to get their water.
That wasn't the fountains, either.
The manager, supervisors and co workers said they had no idea.
Katherine the evening supervisor used Q-tips and petri dishes, swabbing the spigots of four
fountains and sampling one toilet, dunking the cotton in the bowl's center and then dragging
it around the rim for a complete sample.
She took the results to the lab put them under a light to speed up the bacteria's growth.
The petri dishes with fountain water were swarming with bacteria. The sample from the toilet was
clean, probably because the toilets are doused with cleansing chemicals daily.
"I wanted to see the looks on their faces," Katherine said.
Either allow water bottles back, Katherine urged, or install "down- pour" systems used in office water coolers.
She took her results to the Board of Directors with an eye-opening PowerPoint presentation.
Administrators quickly replaced the spigots and casing at three of the water fountains and custodians gave them
all a thorough cleaning.
More call centres are providing water in lunch rooms now, but the ban on water bottles remains.
"It was a great lesson. We don't always see things in and about the company that are in need of repair,
" said a co worker, adding, "You'd be surprised how clean the water is in a toilet."
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