Keith Friberg

Keith Friberg Nrgize Cafe Keith Friberg charges LUDICROUS prices for smoothies to support al Qaeda! Wellington, Florida

25th of Jul, 2011 by User663519

I could not believe what happened today when I walked into L.A. Fitness Wellington to get a smoothie! I walked past the entrance counter of the gym to approach the smoothie counter. As I approached, I couldn't help but notice there was a giant 36- by 24-inch framed picture of world terrorist Osama bin Laden hanging underneath the smoothie sign! Underneath the giant frame, was a iron plaque that read in cursive letters "In Loving Memory of Osama bin Laden". I could not believe what I was seeing! Why would anyone put such a sickening human being up on the wall, honoring them?! I quickly gazed around the gym to see if anyone saw what I was looking at, wondering if they were as apalled as I was. "Excuse me?", I asked a fellow gym-member, as they willingly walked over towards my direction. "Do you know who put this picture up?", I asked as I pointed to the picture of bin Laden. "Ohhhh, yeah, unfortunately", he responded. "Keith Friberg, the owner of the smoothie stand right there, put up the poster." "Why would he do that?!", I asked, completely shocked. The man responded with "Well, ever since Keith found out that his wife was cheating on him with all of us in the gym here, he kind of just snapped. He now hates all Americans, just as bin Laden did. He assumes every man he knows has had marital relations with his wife. So now he supports al Qaeda."
Just then, I heard a deep, loud, rumbling voice interrupt my next question, as it literally made goosebumps stand straight up all over my body. "You have a PROBLEM with something?!", I heard, as it sounded like it was right next to my eardrum. I slowly turned around to see the gigantic, menacing beast of a man known as Keith Friberg! Keith had the meanest look on his face I've ever seen, as he slowly ducked down a full foot so he was now nose-to-nose with me. As Keith was literally touching the tip of my nose with his, I noticed he had a huge white Muslim Turban on his head! As I was focusing and trying to step back, he screamed as loud as he could "WHAT DO YOU WANT, LITTLE MAN?!" The spit that came out out his mouth flew right into my eyes, my hair, and my mouth. Before I could even answer, he grabbed me with both hands around my neck and lifted me a full foot right off the ground. "You BETTER be buying a smoothie!", he said, as if giving me a warning that he'll kill me if I don't. I couldn't talk because he was grasping so hard, but I motioned "yes!" the best that I could. He then dropped me to the floor, and stomped off behind his smoothie counter. It took him about 20 minutes to make the smoothie, as he was saying some kind of Muslim prayer as he made it. As he finished the smoothie, he walked over to the framed poster of bin Laden, kissed it, kissed the outside of the smoothie he just made me, and finally placed it on the counter in front of me. Keith stood with his eyes closed in front of me, talking to himself. "I WILL avenge you. I WILL avenge you! You WILL be proud of me!", he said over and over again. He repeated this statement about 7 or 8 times, until he slowly opened his eyes. I stood there looking at this lunatic saying to myself "this guy is out of his mind!" "FIFTY BUCKS", he finally said, loud enough that the whole gym could hear. I could not believe the amount he was charging me. Just before I opened my mouth to question the price, he again interrupted me and repeated "FIFTY BUCKS!", only this time more stern. I reached into my pocket to pull out my credit card. All I could think of in my head was how scary Keith Friberg looked standing in front of me. He stood nearly 7-feet tall, with the scariest, meanest looking face a man could possibly have, and he was wearing a full Muslim outfit from head to toe. I had no choice but to pay the scam price of 50 bucks for his smoothie. After I paid him, Keith then said "because I'm such a nice guy, I'll give you this", as he slid a picture of himself standing next to what looked like Warren Moon in about 1987. His final statement before I left was "that's me and Warren Moon, the two greatest football players of all time." I turned around with my smoothie and left, thinking what a ripoff artist that Keith Friberg is.

Track this Report 0 Comment | Post a Comment